Everyone has got an ‘Inner Voice’, but I don’t think very many appreciate how much it influences our behaviors, our perception of self, or others perception of you.
To give you an idea of how much contribution you get from your ‘Inner Voice’, I did some research:
On average humans have 49 thoughts per minute, that’s 70,000 per day, and 25,550,000 per year.
To me, those numbers are incredible!!!
But, they can also be dangerous.
Are you even listening?
I first heard this concept of an ‘Inner Voice’ from world renowned performance psychologist Dr. Jim Loehr (watch below):
The takeaways from what Dr. Loehr says are:
- Your ‘Inner Voice’ is constant, it’s always saying something (as seen by the statistics earlier), and it always will be until your death.
- Does your ‘Inner Voice’ build you up or tear you down?
- And lastly, you have responsibility for your ‘Inner Voice’.
I’m not certain many people are aware of what their ‘Inner Voice’ is telling them, or the fact that their ‘Inner Voice’ has influence on their behavior. People only seem to be aware of the outcome of their behaviors, good or bad, they do not understand the voice that drove the behavior to elicit the outcome, they are not recognising whether their ‘Inner Voice’ is building them up or tearing them down – the thing is, I can almost guarantee most people would be able to recognize someone else’s ‘Inner Voice’, and whether or not it is building that person up or tearing them down, but when it comes to ourselves, we are blind.
The last point Dr. Loehr makes is that you need to take responsibility of your ‘Inner Voice’, to discuss that I would like to introduce you to the Self – Talk Cycle.
How the inside influences the outside & vice versa
I have a mentor who will stop me when I’m talking, and ask me to repeat certain sentences, not because she didn’t hear me rather it is to re phrase the language I use. For example, instead of saying ‘I could…’, I change it to ‘I will…’ – it’s a subtle difference, but one shows uncertainty, whilst the other is bold.
Another example I have is when I coach adolescence. The casual language choices and subtle put downs they make to describe themselves, will tear them down. It is my role in those moments to interrupt the language they use, and re phrase the thought in their mind, just like my mentor does for me.
This is part of taking responsibility of your ‘Inner Voice’; can you catch the language that might tear you down and re phrase it to language that will build you up? And like me and the adolescents I work with, you might need some outside help, that’s ok. Your environment, the people around you and what you take in, should build you up, just like your ‘Inner Voice’, and if it doesn’t then neither will your ‘Inner Voice’.
If you look at the ‘Self Talk Cycle’ above you will see the intertwined relationship between, your perception of yourself, others perception of you, and the behaviors you display, if one is off, then all are off. So for example, if I didn’t change my language from ‘I could…’ to ‘I will…’, then I might not take action (behavior) on what I was discussing, which means the perception others have of me may be, for example, ‘lazy’ (others perception of you), this might then bleed into my own self talk, and now I might begin to label myself as ‘lazy’ (perception of self).
I hope this example, and the self talk cycle, illustrate just how vital it is to be aware of your language, to catch it and re phrase it. On top of this, you must surround yourself with people who will do the same.
The ‘Inner Voice’ & Self Talk Cycle on full display
Watching the above video, gives me chills! It is so powerful.
Rose’s ‘Inner Voice’ is on full display as she chants ‘I’m the best!’. But so is her self talk cycle. Not only is her perception of her self that she is the best, but her coaches are also telling her she is the best (others perception of you).
If you recall earlier I said that if one is off, then all is off, with regards to the self talk cycle. So, although the perception of Rose, and her perception of self is that she is the best, if her behaviors aren’t that of someone who thinks they are the best then it all goes away. In Rose’s case though her behaviors are impeccable, she is humble, resilient, skilled, and dedicated, all behaviors that when mixed with an ‘Inner Voice’ that builds her up, will lead to elite performance.
Summary
- Start to build awareness of what your ‘Inner Voice’ is saying – a simple activity is to start jotting down random thoughts that you have, ask yourself what those thoughts say about you?
- If your ‘Inner Voice’ is tearing you down then you need to start re phrasing your language. Include your peers in this process.
- Once your ‘Inner Voice’ is building you up, you must display the behaviors necessary, otherwise your whole self talk cycle will crumble.
